This post was inspired by the past; a lesson reminded by some Christian youths I’ve had a chance to talk to…

“I charge you, O daughters of Jerusalem, Do not stir up nor awaken love until it pleases.” – Song of Solomon 8:4 (NKJV)

I was surprised to find myself wondering over my past. To be honest, I feel uncomfortable remembering the naïve and foolish young me who spent years getting over a guy. When you’re young and you claim you’re in love, you let your emotions rule you; and when that happens you become so focused on the person you like instead of the present like being young, your schooling, and so on.

I missed a lot even if I was okay with class and school organizations. Most people who knew my dilemma back then even complimented on how “together” I was amidst the heart that was falling deeply into a guy who “claimed” he was into me to. I was always in smiles, active in certain school activities, but I was hurting, wanting, and already obsessing…

During those times he went out with another girl, stating he feared being rejected by me; and I was there wishing we’d have a second chance… As I look back I saw how uncool it was – In fact it was destructive…

I’m writing this post to remind young ladies of God’s perfect time and how each season has its own blessing you need to enjoy. I am blessed to have friends who were honest about how they noticed me becoming “obsessed”: I was always asking friends who his girlfriend was, getting jealous over every girl he was with and was close to, always with some “parinig” and so on… until the day came that it even destroyed my personality. I was becoming a stress, a nuisance, and – worst – insincere, a backstabber (even if I claimed I was only worried over the person I was commenting about – but actually I was worried over my own interest), and a complete fraud even to myself. I was becoming SELF-CENTERED – a trait which isn’t really the best definition for love.

But that was all in the past….and life is different now.

When you let your emotions, your current situation, or what other people say, take hold of you, everything else falls apart. You may act as if everything is normal but honestly you’re breaking yourself more. You become a rebel to your own blessings; struggling to keep up with something that wasn’t even meant to be enjoyed at present. You may say “I am so blessed”, or “I enjoy my life now”, but honestly, being too focused on the past and the longing makes you miss out more than what you should be enjoying now.

As I’ve said earlier, I am blessed to have friends who were honest about what they saw. While some may still comment about their ideas of love and all (let’s admit, that’s what being young is), there were those who really showed that they were on my side – reminding me of my behavior, my mistakes, and how I was hurting even the person I claimed to love. Trust me, back then he and his girlfriend (or any person girl who learned I was jealous of them) were the ones adjusting; where in fact they have nothing to adjust. I was the one who should adjust to them. Back then, I took it as a sign that he may still have feelings for me where in fact it was totally over!

It took me a long time to move on. It may be more or less ten years till I finally did, but that was brought about by the realization of how God showed me He can answer my prayers – there exists a guy who almost had all the qualities I prayed for, who became a friend and a confidant, and who was far better than the guy I once fell for. Alas, I was too hooked on the past that I gave this friend the worst me instead of a confident, lively, and more outgoing me. I have to admit that being too focused on the past made me insecure over every jealousy I felt, less confident as I denied my rejection, and less of the strong and cheerful woman I ought to be.

“He refreshes my soul. He guides me along the right paths for His name’s sake.” – Psalm 23:3 (NIV)

It may have taken me years till I finally moved on, and at present I am happy he was not the one. The friend I mentioned earlier became a realization of how God has blessed me and how He can give me the best man if I gave Him (God) a chance to deal with things.

After almost two years since I became a Christian, I have learned (although it’s a constant struggle) to keep my heart in check. I do admit that I still have feelings over the guy friend I mentioned but this time I let God handle this. I accept the fact that only God can handle things I don’t have control of like the weather, the days, situations, especially other people’s thoughts and feelings. I can only be in control of me and how I respond to the times…God, after all, graced His children authority over their own emotions and thoughts. Whether he is the one or someone else, or none at all, I am confident it’s God’s best plan for me. I was already thankful of our meeting, the realization God gave, and that friend’s advice that I deserve to be happy. In fact, I have learned how not ending up with anyone recently was all God’s intervention rather than Him forgetting about me. I saw it as a blessing; an opportunity to know Him more and refocus my life to Him. We love because He loved us first after all. This was what I missed the most…

Before we engage on any romantic relationship let us first check our hearts…

  • Is it focused on God or the guy/girl you’re into?

  • Is it focused on giving rather than taking?

  • Are you ready to “work” things out rather than “try” it out?

  • How do you respond to situations concerning both or either one of you?

  • Are you encouraging/guiding each other?

  • How’s your friendship? how’s you’re relationship with other people?

  • Do you really understand what love is?

Know your priorities, enjoy the moment, and focus your sights on God. Let go and let Him be the God He really is in your life. This is the season of me strengthening my relationship with God and I am happy for the chance He has given me…

“He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end.”

– Ecclesiastes 3:11